走得越远，越常回头望。 看到的，都是我失去的一切。

What Now?

So I found out the other day that I didn't get the London training post. I had to do it the round-about way; it seems like the deanery isn't the best at delivering bad news, so it chose to keep quiet and let me do all the digging myself. Perhaps this is a tactic I could use in the future in my clinical practice- I'll place the report of an unfortunate CT scan by the patient's bedside while they're asleep and then slink away.

I knew it would end this way. The signs were ominous- the ecstatic facebook postings of acquaintances who had successfully applied, the curious and prolonged silence from the deanery. And obviously, I didn't help matters by suffering a nervous breakdown in the run- up to the interview, culminating in a sobbing phone call to my brother.

Not the best preparation for a job interview.

After all, I wouldn't say that this was the most devastating news in the world. The problem that arises is, what do I do now?

A Statement of Intent

that's what I need.

Fixing the Windows to My Soul

I've got a consultation for eye surgery tomorrow. I've had the eyesight of a mole for most of my life, and having blamed it for many things that have gone wrong in my life, subconsciously I think that things will be so much better if I get it fixed. Which of course it won't.

But I've wasted enough time hemming and hawing over whether or not to go ahead (but the cost! what if it's a total disaster?) and now I just want get it over with. Things haven't been going that well for me recently, and I have to try to make changes in the hope that they end up being for the better.

I Watched This: Chronicle

I was strong-armed into getting a Cineworld unlimited card a couple months back. They was charging twelve quid to catch a flick during the weekend, so when an unlimited card was just six pounds extra, it didn't make sense not to- the catch being that I am now locked into monthly payments that are draining my accounts of the precious liquid gold that I spend my days getting abused by all and sundry to obtain.

Today, I watched Chronicle. I hadn't heard much of this film before, and when this happens, I assume the film is bad (the reasoning being that most films are previewed by movie critics who put the word out, and the ones that aren't released for reviews are those of such esteemed pedigree as Swept Away and Aeon Flux.). Then I watched the trailer, and the premise of teenagers doing what teenagers do when they suddenly find themselves in possession of superpowers seemed promising enough. And that scene in the trailer where the guy crumples up the car and later sweeps a couple of police cars in the air with a wave of his hands? Fucking cool. Subtract a few points though for using Jessie J's song Price Tag. 

The plot starts out like this. A troubled teenager, Andrew, gets a video camera and starts filming everything around him (which makes for the film's conceit that we are watching film footage as it is being shot). Then a strange thing happens to him and two other teenagers, and they find that they can now move objects (and more!) with just the power of their mind. 

The 'found footage' quality of the film, with the jerky cams and static, although annoying at first, draws you into the film. The makers of the film find creative but logical ways to stretch the powers that the teenagers have- the idea is that they have telekinesis, but they're also able to use that power to create force fields and other cool tricks (won't spoil it for you, even if the trailer already has). The special effects are used effectively- sparingly at first, and then going all-out in the finale. I got the impression initially that this was a low budget film (which at $15 million it is, relatively speaking) but by the end, you could have fooled me if you told me that the budget for it was four times as much. 

Suffice to say, Chronicle is a pretty awesome film. It's not perfect, and it's predictable- you know it's all going to end in tears from the outset- but it's a thrilling ride all the same. For my money, this is the  best action film I've watched this year- I rank it above Mission Impossible III, which despite ten times the budget, yielded about half the thrill.

What do you have to say for yourself?

Not much really.